Startup Pitch Email
startup pitch email

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Your startup name: (MISSPELLED VERSION OF REAL WORD, ENDING IN -LY OR -IO). Have you ever wanted to (VERB) all sorts of (PLURAL NOUN) with friends, family, colleagues, or even (MINOR CELEBRITY), but didn’t’ know how? Maybe you were just strolling the sidewalks of (GENTRIFIED NEIGHBORHOOD) past your favorite (OBSCURE ETHNICITY) bakery when you wished you pull out your i(NOUN) and use it quickly (VERB ENDING IN -ATE) all your latest (TRIVIAL STUFF  YOU LIKE) and post it to your (SOCIAL MEDIA PROFILE NO ONE READS)? (STARTUP NAME) is the answer. The fact is, we live in a world where (GERUND STARTING WITH “CROWD”) will revolutionize (FAILING INDUSTRY), and pretty soon you’ll be able to (VERB THAT IMPLIES CREATIVITY) anything you want through the cloud. All this (NOUN FORM ENDING IN -ATE) is already changing the way we (BORING DAILY TASK), but who has the tools to keep up with it? (STARTUP NAME) is that tool. With our beautiful, user-friendly interface, you’ll find that managing all your (UNMANAGEABLE THING) is easier than ever-and (ADJECTIVE)! Utilizing the power of (SLIGHTLY INTIMIDATING ACRONYM) services with all the connectivity of (PREVIOUS STARTUP WITH RECORD-BREAKING IPO), we can help you free yourself from the tyranny of (FIRST-WORLD PROBLEM). In this rapidly (EUPHEMISTIC GERUND) world of ours, it’s hard to find the time to (VERB INVOLVING FACE-TO-FACE INTERACTION WITH HUMANS) or keep track of all the (DATA NO ONE NEEDS TO KEEP TRACK OF EXCEPT ADVERTISERS). (STARUP NAME) changes that. It puts the power of (INVASIVE, DATA-MINING GPS-BASED SERVICE) at your fingertips. (SERIOUS VERB). (FUN VERB).  (VERB FORM OF STARTUP NAME).

via Bloomberg Businessweek

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